If I am picking on you, I believe it to be in a good cause.
Your statements reflect the views of many, perhaps of most. And they reflect these views in a concise, precise, and cogent way.
They thus provide a lot of good starting places to discuss how my present understanding differs from the traditions that many or most of us have received.
{{_ Well it appears that plainly the gospel wants us to allow our fallen self to die,}}
If one is an unbeliever, he is told to deny or disown himself, and to confess that his sins deserve crucifixion and an eternal place in the lake of fire, and to be willing to have Jesus as Lord and Savior.
KJV Matthew 16: 24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
Believers have done this. God is now the owner of their earthly bodies, possessions and obligations. Any control that they may have is as God's stewards. (The translation of Phil. 3.8 below is based on the Greek and on the sense of Col. 1.13 and 2nd Cor. 5.17 - the second and fourth verses quoted below.)
Eclectic Philippians 3:8 But surely I count also all [earthly] things to be liabilities on account of the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: through whom all [earthly] things have been taken from me (and I do count them but dung) that I might have Christ as gain,
NAS Colossians 1:13 For He delivered us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son:
{{_ so man can be born again}}
"May" is preferable to "can". It is not man's ability to be saved, but the availability, to the willing, of so great salvation, that is revealed in scripture.
KJV Revelation 22:17 And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.
{{_ as a new person}}
The change is complete, spiritual and eternal. The "person" may or may not be markedly changed at first. Except that the change in his spiritual state is generally apparent to those of like precious faith.
NKJV 2nd Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
{{_ through Grace.}}
It is preferable to say "on the basis of grace". The unmerited favor of God toward the believer is the basis or ground of salvation. The instrument of salvation is God-given saving faith, not grace. It is "through faith" as the instrument of salvation and "by grace", understood as "on the basis of unmerited favor".
{{_ I believe it is a vary straightforward idea.}}
It is. But New Testament salvation is much, much, better than the statements of it that have come to all of us through our various traditions. To paraphrase Lincoln: all of the noted translators and interpreters have been fooled some of the time, and some of them have been fooled all of the time. Those not born again are particularly susceptible to folly.
{{_ And the basis of Grace,}}
This seems a bit backward. The unmerited favor of God is the basis or grounds or foundation of the salvation of the individual, not the reverse.
{{_ Pefection}}
The teaching of "perfectionism", the capacity of some believers to walk without sin, has caused a number of scandals.
I believe that the perfectionists may be part right. (False teachings often arise because a similar true teaching has been neglected.)
In this case we have neglected the biblical definition of "sin" as a spiritual coming short of the glory that God intended for man.
KJV Romans 6:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
And have substituted through shoddy preaching and teaching throughout church history the now universal sense of sin as a term for anything that is evil.
Otherwise the term "perfection" might have its biblical senses. Spiritual perfection now, absolute perfection after resurrection. Both accomplished through the perfect sacrifice that has established these perfections beforehand.
And we might interpret John naturally when he states three times in his first epistle that believers do not commit sin. (It is sin in the flesh that is responsible for any evil in the walk of a believer.)
{{_ and The New Order.}}
"New Order" has a governmental sense, and would seem to be applicable to the millennial rule of Christ, not to the present condition of the believer. New creation and new man are used to describe the present condition of the believer and his continually spiritually refreshed soul.
{{_ The question is not so much is it valid}}
Reason can only go so far. But reason guided by careful study of scripture and by the indwelling Spirit has the capacity to see through the traditions of men. And recover the greatness of what God has provided for those who have received or who are willing to receive, the only true salvation.
{{_ to believe in it,}}
True saving faith is the gift of God, and is born of God. Man's part is to acknowledge his sin and helplessness and to be willing to accept the gift of saving faith in order to have Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior.
{{_ but will man do this thing,}}
It is not a matter of doing, but of being willing to let God do it. Anything else is inordinate (and possibly deadly) pride.
{{_ become new creatures}}
"New creation" is the better translation. Each believer is part of the second creation which began with the Resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and will be completed after the old heaven and earth flee from the face of the One on the White Throne and all spiritual, eternal evil is disposed of in the lake of fire.
{{_ and start to follow the commands of Y'shua.
The New Testament commandments are a temporary measure. They are designed to ease the journey of the faithful remnant of Israel who were born under the law into the better salvation which includes being dead to the law. Actually dead to the principle of law, any necessity to follow rules now that walking in the spirit is available.
{{_ In other words, the method is lined out.}}
Yes, perfectly in scripture, imperfectly in our various traditions.
{{_ Now it comes down to application.}}
The word of Jesus that seem to apply to the post-apostolic church are:
KJV John 14:23 Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.
KJV Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
Note the use of the future tense in these verses. The New Testament church is told that Lord is at the right hand of God in heaven, not at the door or making an abode on earth. These verses refer to a time beginning shortly after the Revelation to John.
Note that it is "keep my words" in John 14.23.
"Words" not "commandments".
"Keep" not "do" or "fulfill" or "obey" or "walk according to".
Much damage has been done by the notion that "keep" in regard to commands or words has the specialized sense of "obey". This is rampant and universal and deadly crypto-Galatianism, received by tradition, not through the spirit and study of scripture.
The natural primary sense of "keep" in regard to commandments or words is to study and remember them, and to guard them from error.
And this is apparently the way that scripture uses the word "keep" in regard to commandments and words.
How can we "do" His words if we do not know them?
And the imperfections in our knowledge will result in imperfections in our prayers, meditations, speech, writings, and walk. If not in something much, much worse.
